


Forgiving Violet

by Benjen_Greystark117



Category: Violet Evergarden (Anime)
Genre: F/M, Forgiveness, Love, Love Confessions, Post-War, Redemption, Revenge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-01-30 12:10:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21428014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benjen_Greystark117/pseuds/Benjen_Greystark117
Summary: Ben Alberic returned from the war.  With his only friends dead, he retires to the northern country to hunt, guide, and track for profit.  However, a burning sense of revenge stays with him.  He hungers for revenge against the one who murdered all his friends in front of him:  Violet Evergarden.  For years, Ben holds back his revenge, as he knows that revenge comes at a cost.  However, when Violet is called to the northern country on a mission, Ben cannot ignore his rage anymore.  Will he get his revenge?
Relationships: OC/Violet
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue & Chapter I: Snow

**Author's Note:**

> I've changed a few things up for the story to work. For instance, during the courtship of Damian and Charlotte, Violet attends their wedding and a cameraman takes a photo of Violet posing with them on their wedding day.

**Prologue**

**“When I first met her, she… was a monster,” Ben said matter of factly to Doctor Becker, “Now, I don’t know how I can live without her.”**

**Doctor Becker paused for a moment, then he smiled and said, “Don’t worry, kid. She’s strong - stronger than most. She’ll come back. I know it.”**

**Then Doctor Becker turned around and walked out the door. How could he possibly tell Ben that with such assuredness? He hadn’t seen how far she fell, nor the blast from Corporal Tannings hand-grenade. He hadn’t seen the blood that trickled down her beautiful face; staining the white snow all around her crumpled body.**

**Ben felt a tear begin to drip from his eye. He quickly wiped it away. Violet wouldn’t want him to do that. She never liked tears. Although she’d learned of their importance, she still couldn’t stand to feel them… or see them. Ben felt his heart warm at a memory - a memory that felt too long ago now. He quickly pushed it from his mind as it only made him sadden further.**

**Seeing a chair next to her hospital bed, Ben sat down next to Violet’s comatosed body. Her right shoulder was peeking out from under her blanket. Ben felt his hand touch her cold skin. It began to warm to his touch. As if she could tell he was there with her.**

**“V-Violet?” Ben began, “I’ve wanted to say this to you for awhile, but I’ve always been too much of a coward to say it.” **

**Ben chuckled to himself, “I guess I’m still a coward. Seeing as I don’t know if you can hear me.” **

**Ben swallowed the dryness in his throat and said, “I hated you. You killed my men - my… friends. But that wasn’t you was it? Not anymore anyway. I see that now.” **

**What he said next was only revealed to him last night. So, he took another deep breath and said, “And… I think… I love you.”**

**Suddenly, Violet’s head moved a little to her right, and her head rested on his hand. Ben could feel her cheeks warmth from the moment it touched his hand. He began to sob with a smile. He let these tears flow. These were different tears. They were tears of joy.**

**She could hear him… somewhere.**

**Chapter I: Snow**

** _3 Months earlier..._ **

**Ben could feel his dirty army uniform tugging against his worn skin. Although all of the extremist had given up or were wiped out, Ben ** **Alberic was not ready to give up. He had no hope of starting the war again. He had hated the war, and like many others, he felt it had wasted so many lives for nothing. Ben only agreed to join the extremists because he had nowhere left to turn for revenge.**

**Looking back on it, Ben was glad those men were gone. Had they been successful, more people would have died. More families torn apart by war… and more friends gone.**

**No. Ben’s mission was to avenge his friends. Mac, John, William, and Captain Samwise would all be avenged. Once Ben killed the person responsible for their demise: Violet Evergarden.**

**When he left them, he departed for the northern country. There, he worked as a guide and hunted the bears that lived up their for profit. For months, Ben worked tirelessly. He never thought he would get the chance to avenge his friends, so he put away his revenge.**

**He was just beginning to move on, when he heard of the marriage between Prince Damian of Flügel and Princess Charlotte of Drossel. An Auto Memory Doll brought them together, and her name was Violet Evergarden. **

**At the time, that name meant nothing to Ben, until he saw a picture of the princess and the doll posing together in a newspaper. When he saw her face, Ben felt his heart sink and his temper flare. How could ** ** _she _ ** **bring people together in love? That dog of war was only capable of one thing: death and destruction! How could she ever be anything else?!**

**Years went by and Ben tried to stamp out his thirst for revenge. But every now and then, a new article about Violet would appear. She was helping this person and that person. To Ben’s addled mind, it was as if she was taunting him. However, each time, Ben could keep his composure and eventually return to his work in peace.**

**Then, the day came when he could no longer stave off his thirst. Violet was coming to the northern country. Ben guessed some rich aristocrat in Snow City wanted her to help him with a letter, or whatever “famous” Auto Memory Doll’s do. Without thinking, Ben gathered his belongings and began the journey north to Snow City: the last major city before the great unknown wilderness.**

**While packing, he rediscovered his old army uniform. The sergeant’s chevrons were dusty and his buttons were loose, but it still fit him just like the old days. He stood in the mirror with his old army rifle in hand and sighed with an angry grimace.**

**“This is for you guys. I’ll kill her with this on. I’m going to remind that animal of what she took from me… and so many others.”**

**He knew that Violet would have to stop for shelter on the journey up to Snow City, and he knew which tavern she would stop at: The Icy Moose Inn. So, with rifle in hand, Ben stepped out into the cold, night air and loaded his gear onto his trusty horse: Luc.**

**Luc had been by Ben’s side ever since he recovered from the army hospital. He had just been a weak foal when they met, now he was a full-grown stallion and as strong as three oxen. Ben could count on him to make the journey. At least, so he thought.**

**A storm had struck halfway through his journey, and unfortunately, Luc died of exhaustion. Ben sat crumpled up next to his dying horse - his last friend, and cried. He could feel the horses heartbeat slowly fade until it was gone.**

**Revenge was certain now. Violet had just cost him another friend. Now, he was trekking up the side of the mountain that led to the inn. She would be there. The storm would have surely slowed her journey as well. Ben knew she would be travelling by half-track (a slow moving car with tank tracks attached for mobility in harsh environments), so her journey would have been slow to begin with. **

**This blizzard meant she would be stuck in the inn for days, possibly even a week. That gave Ben plenty of time to travel through the snow to her. Then, he would certainly finish things for all his friends, for himself, and for all those lives she destroyed in the war.**

**“I’m coming to settle this, Violet,” Ben said gnashing his teeth while trudging down the snow-laden road. The wind whipped his face; stinging him to his core. Only his hatred kept him warm enough to move forward. **

**Every step he took was another step closer to destiny - another step closer to ending this pain in his heart. Also, for some reason, a piece of him desperately wanted to see her again. Ben could only guess that it was a desire to face her. Not only did he hate her, but he feared her too. Killing her would kill the fear. He was sure it was the solution.**

**Then, something shook him from his thoughts of anger. A light appeared; flickering in the distance before him. From a distance, Ben could tell it was a gas lamp. Who the hell was out here… walking? Maybe it was another traveler, or a hunter?**

**“Hello?!” Ben shouted through the blizzard.**

**“Hello!” cried a girl’s voice. Ben jumped into action. The last bits of “romantic hero” in him felt a damsel was in distress. Ben once thought the war had stamped that part out of him. He’d seen too much pain and misery to believe in anything as foolish as acting heroic. **

**Not to mention, he’d never really liked the idea of heroes saving a damsel in distress. That was mostly his educated Mother’s doing. She always told him that “a woman can do anything she puts her mind to.” But, Ben knew that even strong people need help sometimes.**

**After hearing the girl’s voice, Ben rushed towards the light; ripping off one of his blankets he had tied to his pack. He hopped over and trudged quickly through the snow. He tripped once; cutting his hand on some hidden branch. However, this did not stop him. He’d felt worse pains than a scratch like that.**

**When Ben got to the source of the light, he could see a pair of bright blue eyes staring at him. Her eyes were all he could see. She was wrapped in elegant yet thick winter clothing and wore a scarf over her face. Her hood was on too, so he could not distinguish anything else about her… except for her eyes. They were like sapphires from the White Mountains.**

**“Are you lost, Miss?” Ben asked through deep breaths.**

**“No, but I have lost my friend,” the girl said in a worried, yet monotone voice, “We got stuck in the snow, and when the storm came, we got separated.”**

**“Okay. Let me help you. I’m a tracker where I’m from, so it’s no problem,” Ben said with a confident smile, although he was terrified it would be too late for her friend.**

**“Okay. Her name is Iris,” said the girl. The two of them searched for Iris for a few minutes. They shouting out for her, and Ben used his tracking ability to find her footprints. **

**Finally, after finding her trail, they found her crouched next to a tree for shelter. She was shivering and her fingers were beginning to get frostbite. Ben grabbed her, wrapped her in a blanket, and carried her to their half-track. Upon inspection, Ben noticed it was broken down, and would remain that way until the snow let up.**

**“I think we have to travel on foot, ladies,” Ben said with a heavy heart.**

**“Okay,” said the girl. Iris was passed out from exhaustion in Ben’s arms, so he would have to carry her.**

**“Can you make it throu-,” Ben started to say when he noticed that the girl wasn’t shivering. She was just standing there stock still as if it were a sunny day. He could tell that she was tougher than she looked.**

**“Yes.”**

**“Well, alright. Let’s get a move on, then. We gotta get Iris warm. I know an inn nearby that we can take shelter at.”**

**Ben started walking up the mountain; clutching Iris close to keep her as warm as possible. Every minute out here she grew closer to hypothermia. He could tell that Iris was not accustomed to planning for the cold as she barely had enough winter clothing for a spring in the northern country.**

**“I see you’re more prepared for this kind of weather,” Ben said casually to the girl.**

**“Yes. I have had experience with inclement weather,” she replied.**

**Some time passed and the girl spoke up; saying, “What is your name, sir?”**

**“Ben, Miss. Ben Alberic,” he replied through an exhausted grimace. **

**“Thank you, Mr. Alberic, for your help,” the girl said without a single hint of exhaustion. Damn this girl was strong.**

**“No problem, Miss.”**

**He could see the inn’s lights in the distance, but all he could think about was how he would finally get revenge. However, he quickly remembered his manners once they were on the front porch of the inn. The girl was beginning to take off her coat and hood when he finally asked her for her name.**

**“Oh my God, Miss. Forgive my rudeness. I neglected to ask for your name. What is it?” Ben said with a little too much enthusiasm. It had been awhile since he’d spoken with women around his age. There weren’t too many young, educated women in the northern country outside of Snow City.**

**This did not seem to register to the girl. She wasn’t facing him as she shed her final layer of clothing; pulling off her scarf and revealing her face. A river of blonde hair swept down the sides of her face as if they were a picture frame. Her porcelain skin shone in the lamplight, and her eyes glinted up toward him. In the stories, this would have been the moment a beautiful girl revealed herself to a starstruck boy. But to Ben… it was as if target had just been placed before him.**

**Staring back at him… was the girl from his nightmares. That dog of war they now called a doll…**

**She smiled at him and bowed.**

**“My name is Violet. Violet Evergarden… at your service.”**


	2. Revolver

**It took everything in Ben to restrain himself from killing her right then and there. He was sure his face would give it away, and feeling that way made him blush. He just hoped she would think it was just wind burn.**

**“Have I introduced myself incorrectly, Mr. Alberic?” Violet said; taking notice of his look.**

**Shit. She knew something was up. Ben quickly spurted out, “What? No, no! I’m just really tired and annoyed at my luck.”**

**Not thinking and feeling the warmth of the inn getting to him, Ben began to quickly remove his furs. This revealed his old army uniform. Some of the people in the inn took notice and began whispering. This reminded Ben of what he was doing. Some people had sorry looks, but others seemed angry.**

**“The hell are you doing here, soldier!” said the inn-keeper. He was obviously from Lieden.**

**Ben turned to face the man without fear and said, “I’m getting warm. There’s a blizzard out there and these ladies needed my help.”**

**“Don’t you know who that is your talking to, soldier boy?!” said another patron, “That’s the fighting Auto Memory Doll, Violet Evergarden.”**

**Ben turned to look at Violet; expecting her to be proud of her recognition. Instead, she looked away from him with embarrassment. Was she actually sorry for her time in the war? Ben shook the thought from his mind as his fury began to boil. No. She’s an animal. Nothing more, nothing less.**

**“I’m well aware of Ms. Evergarden’s exploits during the war, sir,” Ben said; trying to appear friendly. Perhaps he could lull her into a false sense of security, and then kill her. **

**“We were both soldiers… fighting on opposite sides. But the war is over, and so is our fury,” Ben said as he held out his hand to shake Violet’s. **

**She looked at him with a slight bit of shock. However, eventually, she took his hand and did a little curtsy. That was when Ben noticed her metal hands. Had she lost them in the war? Ben felt a twinge of sorrow, but only for a moment. How many other men had she crippled like this herself? And how many other men had she done worse too?**

**Ben let go of her hand a little too aggressively, and Violet seemed to notice. Her face twitched with a curious bit of… fear? How could this walking weapon feel fear? Ben did not know, nor did he care. In the deepest part of his rage-filled heart, he felt joy at seeing her fear. He looked forward to seeing more of it.**

**“It is…,” was all Violet said as she turned to take her things and a now half-awake Iris up to their room. The way she said that sounded strange to Ben. It was as if Violet had heard his thoughts. This angered Ben because the old fear he felt during the war shot through him as she ascended the stairs. It was just for a second, but that second was enough to fill his heart with fearful rage all over again.**

**After their interaction, the rest of the inn seemed to calm down. The inn-keeper even allowed Ben to buy a room… at a steeper price. Ben did not care. It was all in service to an end that he’d wanted for a long time.**

**As Ben went up to his room, he thought about how he would do it. Strangulation? No. That would take too long. She’d be on him before he could finish the job. Stabbing? Could be satisfying, but probably too quick. He could set fire to the inn with her in it? No. That would kill everyone in the inn, and that wasn’t what Ben wanted. More innocent deaths would solve nothing. Shooting? No. Definitely too quick. Besides that would attract the entire inn to him. **

**Ben quickly deduced that it wouldn’t matter to him. He wasn’t planning to make it through this experience. Even if Violet manages to mortally wound him, Ben would be the one to kill her. He didn’t care if she broke him to pieces while she died. He only wanted to see her feel fear as he did. Even if only for a few seconds.**

**Ben reached his room and set his things up for a long week. He wouldn’t make his move until she trusted him and he was certain of a way to kill her. Ben knew what he was doing was vile, but he didn’t care. What Violet had done was vile. **

**“An eye for an eye…”**

**Suddenly, there was a knock at us door that sounded like a weapon. At the sound of possible danger, Ben ripped open his canvas army bag; revealing his breech-load revolver. Quickly he grabbed it and chambered a round all in one smooth motion.**

**Who knew what enemies he had here. In his haste for revenge, Ben had forgotten that a lot citizens of Leiden had moved to the northern country for work and a better life. Until now, Ben had been able to hide his earlier affiliations, but that was obviously shot now.**

**“Who’s there?” Ben asked shakily. He started opening the door with his weapon at the ready.**

**“It’s Violet, Mr. Alberic.”**

**Violet? What did she want? Ben opened the door a little bit and peeked through.**

**“Oh. Hello, Violet,” Ben said. He was trying his best to keep his composure.**

**“May I come in?”**

**Ben paused. “Um… sure.”**

**Ben opened the door the rest of the way and Violet strolled in. She walked over to the one chair in the room and sat down; crossing her legs like a lady. Ben noticed Violet’s eyes staring at his right hand. At that moment, Ben remembered he hadn’t put away his revolver. His finger was still wrapped firmly around the trigger.**

**“Excuse me, Ms. Evergarden,” Ben said with embarrassment, “Old habits.”**

**“I understand,” Violet replied coolly. Ben turned his back on her to put away the revolver.**

**“I also understand you pretend to forgive me, but you hate me… don’t you?”**

**Ben stopped what he was doing, then slowly stood up straight; saying, “No, Violet. I don’t hate you.”**

**“I have been making efforts to understand what people really mean underneath of what they say,” Violet said as Ben’s fists started to clench, “Why do you say you forgive me, when, in actuality, you hate me?”**

**Ben did not say anything. How could he? He hadn’t spent a single night in this inn, and Violet was already throwing obstacles at his plan. Now, the element of surprise was gone.**

**“I do… hate you,” Ben said quietly at first. Then, he started to raise his voice, “You killed my friends. I remember exactly how you killed them too.”**

**Ben was walking closer to her; gripping his revolver tightly. He shouted at her every way that she killed his friends. Her face became progressively more disturbed as he described in great detail the various ways she dispatched his friends. The blood, the guts, the terrified screams, all of it.**

**When he finished, Ben felt tears on his cheeks. He hadn’t noticed he was crying. Quickly, he wiped them away, then sat on his bed and sighed. Years of pain and anguish were now laid bare between these two soldiers, but Ben still felt his thirst for revenge. He started to raise his revolver; aiming it at her head. Violet looked at it, but did not seem to care.**

**“For years, I-” Violet started, but Ben shouted her down.**

**“Shut up! Not one word!”**

**Violet looked at him in the eyes, and in defiance continued to speak.**

**“For years, I struggled with the things I did under the Major’s command. I fought to survive and killed so many people to achieve my goals. Then… the war ended, and the Major was dead. I felt my life had no more meaning. Then, I met my boss, the Lt. Colonel, as well as Iris and the other Dolls. They helped me to see that I am more than a weapon. I’m an Auto Memory Doll, and I have something to contribute to the world that doesn’t relate to death and destruction.”**

**With that, Violet stood up and walked toward Ben. Ben did not drop his gun; aiming it at her chest. She got so close to him that the barrel of his revolver began pressing into her breast. He could shoot her right now and there would be no chance she’d survive. But, for some reason he couldn’t.**

**Violet pressed her metal hand against his cheek. It was cold, but smooth to the touch. The hand wasn’t as coarse as it seemed earlier. Her face resembled that of a melancholy doll with a forced smile plastered across her face. She was… trying to comfort him.**

**“I’m sorry about your friends. I’m even sorrier that I don’t remember them. So, many people died back then. I couldn’t possibly remember them all.”**

**Ben slapped away her hand and cocked the hammer back on his revolver; standing up and grabbing her all in one motion. He got in her face and shouted, “Who the hell do you think you are, you monster! You think you can just say your sorry and it all goes away?! No! Not when I can still see their faces in every waking moment! I can’t even escape them in my sleep!”**

**Violet closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. When she opened them, her face had changed from a forced smile to a look of determination. She looked like she was trying to find the words to reply to this attack on her soul.**

**After a few seconds of thought, Violet finally said, “I think you should write a letter to them.”**

**“What?” Ben couldn’t believe what he was hearing, “How can I write a letter to dead men?!”**

**“Sometimes it helps us to write down our emotions. Since the war’s end, I’ve seen countless widows, widowers, and parents of dead children write to those they’ve lost. It seems to help them.”**

**Ben had let go of her by now. He backed away from her and sat down on his bed again. How could she suggest such things to him? Who was this girl? She certainly wasn’t the monster he remembered. The silent killer with soulless eyes was gone. In her place stood a girl who was just trying to understand the world around her. She was sort of like a weapon that had just become human, and didn’t know how to live in the world of the living.**

**“I guess you think you can help me with that,” Ben replied angrily. However, when Ben looked up to say this to Violet, he could only see an empty room. His door was still open, and through it, he could see Violet’s door closing.**

**Ben looked around his room; confused at what to do next. He had come to this place to kill Violet. He still wanted to, but somehow he felt he wouldn’t be able to now. He was simply at a loss for words and actions. The monster he’d come to slay was no longer there. **

**If he killed Violet, Ben believed it would be like killing an innocent girl. Just thinking that made little sense to Ben’s mind, but it certainly made sense in his heart. Had he not killed countless innocents in the war? Had he not seen death and destruction and been a willing part of it? Perhaps Violet was right. Maybe he did need to write a letter.**

**At that moment, Ben felt his heart lighten a little. Then, he noticed his revolver still in his hand. He quickly put it away in a drawer next to his bed. Suddenly, he felt he didn’t really need it anymore.**

**“I have to hope that I’m doing the right thing,” Ben said out loud to himself, “Because I can’t keep holding on to the pain, guys.”**

**Ben sighed and said, “I feel like this was what you wanted for me - to find peace… not revenge.”**


End file.
